Today has been a strange, but truly good day in so many ways…
Emotional, exciting, terrifying, soulfully tearful…and quite glorious.
I have been pacing the house, and walking in the garden…
Discharging the energy.
Feeling all the feels.
Not falling back.
Not falling back.
But holding lightly and lovingly, and at the same time courageously and firmly onto what is forming in front of me.
I have been here before and I am here again. Familiar and new at the same time.
The Edge.
I am taking long deep breaths and stretching my body.
I am sheathing my mind and allowing the energy to flow.
And I keep going back into my office and looking at what is evolving on my desk and having to walk away, because it feels too much (but in a good way)…so big and audacious (but in a wonderful way)…and it feels so scary good…and so right…
I keep going back in and doing a little more. Accepting a little more. And then taking a break to reset and allow the newness/oldness of this to integrate.
I am good with this level of sudden realization and coming face to face with myself……..again……
It is one of the things I work through with clients with all the time.
The Edge.
I know how to help them, because I know how to help myself.
As I walk through the garden everything is pristine and clear…every edge of every leaf, every sound, every movement of wind and energy…clear…and I feel in every cell…the connectedness of nature…and with nature.
The world holds me, and I can hold this level of change and elevation…
I am prepared for this…I know who I am at the very core of me…
I consciously steer myself away from what I know will anesthetize and make me feel too comfortable…
This process is rarely comfortable…
Sometimes easy, sometimes hard, but almost always there is a level of discomfort, and it is all too easy to fall back and choose a comfortable base line and not embody what has shifted, what is growing, what is new.
This is The Edge.
This is the evolution.
This is realization.
It signals a time for me to own a new level of being and knowing.
A time for me to amp up my capacity…again.
A time for to step even more fully into this identity, this human, this miracle that is Philippa.
And a time for me to rest and nourish myself in an even deeper and more profound way.
And it is time to bravely shed yet another skin.
I tap into the divine.
I call in my allies.
I see the threads and the tapestry at the same time.
I have to trust…
I have to trust that the “how” will come forward for me.
Because this shift is something I want, something that calls, something that stirs my soul into a silent ecstasy.
But for today…it has been a pile of human emotions and human tears…and I am letting the flow find itself…and saying to myself…I will open the way…this will come to pass…and so it shall…
And now I need to stop dripping tears onto the cat that is curled up on my lap, before he notices how wet he is becoming…
Love Philippa
